Apr 21, 2013

Reflections on My Widow Journey

When John and I said, "I do" on June 10, 1972, the possibilities in our life together were unimaginable and endless. As the recessional music carried us down the aisle in front of family and friends, our heads held visions of never-ending love. We were committed to our vows and to each other. "Until death do us part" is what we said  and we meant it. (excerpt from Diane's memoir, Twenty-Eight Snow Angels: A Widow's Story of Love, Loss and Renewal)

Happily married for 28 years, I never thought I'd walk the widow path. In this video, I share my story hoping it will help others. Continuing to donate a portion of my book sales to the "American Widow Project," an organization that supports military widows, widowers and their families. Book info at http://www.outskirtpress.com/snowangels

Apr 14, 2013

Asking For Help

A year after John's sudden death, I found myself wandering around the house and discovering all sorts of projects waiting to be finished. The deck needed to be replaced, I had a leakage problem in the basement and the half finished exercise room stared me in the face each morning when I went downstairs to jump on my mini-tramp and pedal the stationary bike.

The room with cement block walls had been the former owners workshop. John and I had cleared out some of the clutter with plans of fixing it up, but it was a low priority, at the bottom of our remodeling list. Living in the house alone, working full-time as a staff developer in an elementary school and traveling with my colleagues on training trips, I had very little free time to devote to home improvement projects. One day as I was driving to work, the words "Need a handyman? Call Ken" jumped off a sign on the side of the road. I jotted down the number and called it that night.

A kind voice answered. I told Ken, I had a few projects I needed done and wondered if he could take a look at them and give me an estimate. A few days later, his van pulled into my driveway. He greeted me with a smile. I showed him the grout in the bathroom that needed replacing and the unfinished exercise room. He jotted notes and said he'd call me in a couple of days. When he called and told me the cost of the projects, I was pleasantly surprised with the reasonable estimate. Pleased with his work and kindness, I hired Ken a few months later to replace the deck. The staff from my school really enjoyed our get together on my new deck. Our talented music teacher who is also a recording artist entertained us with some of her wonderful songs! Years later, the deck is still my favorite place to share time with friends and family.



Knowing Ken was just a phone call away gave me a sense of comfort knowing that if my washer went on the fritz or I had a plumbing problem, I could depend on him to help me out. Sometimes I think that sign at the side of the road was God reaching out to me offering support and showing me the way.

As you face life alone, tackle tasks you can comfortably, but don't hesitate to ask for help on projects and challenges you can't handle by yourself. You may find not only the support you need, but a friendship that lasts for years to come!